Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I'll Roger That!

Bless me father.

Are impure thoughts really still a sin? I am at the point where I welcome and celebrate almost any coherent thought. Must I confound it all with worry about my soul and all of eternity?

And is that really the standard? Impure? You don’t even have to get to fanciful, mischievous or lascivious or anything? Just saddle up your Ivory Soap thoughts (only 99.44 percent after all) and ride them straight to hell.

Anyways, this is all about car insurance, factual impossibility and  rabbits. There may be an age discrimination problem here too, but , . . .

When Snoopy started trying to sell me life insurance, I was good. Why would anybody buy life insurance from a cartoon beagle, however beloved? And disability insurance from a duck with Gilbert Gottfried’s voice? You’d have to be crazy. Geckos, cavemen, even Charo? No, no and no.
But this Erin Esurance babe has me reviewing my policy for all the wrong reasons I am sure.  I hate to seem shallow, but she's younger and perkier that Jessica, and probably more fun on a date. I Googled her and apparently I am not her first admirer -- certainly not her strangest admirer either, judging by the collections of "fan art" out there.  (She does look good naked.)

Today I heard her voice on the Country Music radio station.  For a moment I imagined that they took her into the studio, sat her down and had her read ad copy. And I am definitely hoping she comes through with something big on Super Sunday.

Now, where is the princess with the abscessed tooth?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Top Stamp Seeks Prince Charming

She needs my help. I just know it. But I am at a loss.

So let’s keep it simple. Like many of you, I have set a Google alert for Xuxa. Sadly it is a mixed bag. Today’s news was bad:
Apparently there has been a release, either on line or on DVD of a movie, starring her, called Popstar. The plot summary tells the whole story:

Plot Summary: Top stamp decides to retire as anyhow as functions give assistance to Brazil, following a brilliant international career, inside bid to join up her Prince Charming, in addition to whom she spoke on the Internet. She accepts an give to execute since an executive inside the bureau where she commenced as anyhow as has to set wide awake in addition to the intrigues of the construct world, making sole her virtual colleague for the grounds that support. For the whole story, go to

I don’t know what to make of it. A cry for help? Is she in distress? I would gladly ride to her rescue, but I definitely do not want to barge in if I’m not wanted.

She hasn’t returned my calls since the incident at Breckinridge and I never actually moved for a dismissal of the restraining order. Meanwhile, my spelling and grammar check actually let that plot summary go by with only one edit. So sinister forces are surely at work. For now I guess I can only pray.

Maybe I’m the one who needs help.